Four hours later we stumble of the bus un-oriented and sporting many injured muscles from daring stretching on the bus. My dad tells me in a harsh and secretive whisper to get into the building "pronto" before the FBI gets us.
Upon checking in we continue to the security check point. After waiting inline for what seemed like eternity I was ready to get on my knees and pour my heart out before god. Finally, to my mercy, we arrived at the check point. To my horror I realized we were to be subjected to the notorious full body scanner that reveals what should not be revealed to strangers.
Stifling a groan I walked to certain death. I stepped in between what seemed like two great walls of china. The sharp bark of the officer brought me back to my senses as I was ordered to lift my hands above my head. Reluctantly I obeyed. My dad could barley contain himself as he gleefully entertained himself at my expense. Just to rub it in my face he grinned like a maniac, ordered me to smile and told me Big Brother is watching.
Quickly producing a lop-sided grin I waited for the killer light rays, to my relief they never came, my brain raced through the electro-magnetic spectrum as imagined gamma rays- silent killers, penetrating my body, but after consulting with my inner voice I settled for the more likely explanation of a high end x-ray. All I had to endure was the snickering of the officer, I hope he was laughing at my feeble attempt to smile.
Half a minute later my dad stumbled through the check point sweaty and red eyed from laughing himself hoarse. Seeing my glaring facial expression he broke into a fresh fit of laughter, twitching like a cardiac arrest patient he stumbles into a nearby chair. A concerned officer runs over to my dad and asks what the problem is, my dad is unable to answer and the officer tries what seems to be half the living languages and a couple dead ones before I assure him that my dad is fine, thoroughly confused he walked away, silently shaking his head.
Still recovering from his happy seizure my dad suddenly realizes that he has lost his wallet. Now it's my turn to laugh, as I finger my dads wallet in my pocket and slowly feed clues to him as to where it might be. After half an hour my dad is caught dry on one of my clues, feeling "truly" sorry I decide to give his wallet back. Growling my dad snatches his wallet out of my hands and charges of to go buy fish 'n chips for us. After fifteen minutes of waiting my dad arrives with soggy fish 'n chips, watery clam chowder and half arsed fries. Seeing that this is probably the last meal I will have in 9 hours I force the food down my throat, wishing I had a plunger.
I now feel throughly purged of all bad experiences, they will now transfer to you- the reader. I hope you enjoy my displeasure, for now sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite.