Hectic Trip, Great Fun
 
     Sitting waiting for my plane in Sea-Tac airport, Seattle. I feel like my legs will fall of from exhaustion. After saying bye to my mom and sister in a flurry of warning about bandits and kidnappers, my dad and I escaped to the bus that would take us to the airport.

     Four hours later we stumble of the bus un-oriented and sporting many injured muscles from daring stretching on the bus. My dad tells me in a harsh and secretive whisper to get into the building "pronto" before the FBI gets us.

     Upon checking in we continue to the security check point. After waiting inline for what seemed like eternity I was ready to get on my knees and pour my heart out before god. Finally, to my mercy, we arrived at the check point. To my horror I realized we were to be subjected to the notorious full body scanner that reveals what should not be revealed to strangers.

     Stifling a groan I walked to certain death. I stepped in between what seemed like two great walls of china. The sharp bark of the officer brought me back to my senses as I was ordered to lift my hands above my head. Reluctantly I obeyed. My dad could barley contain himself as he gleefully entertained himself at my expense. Just to rub it in my face he grinned like a maniac, ordered me to smile and told me Big Brother is watching.

     Quickly producing a lop-sided grin I waited for the killer light rays, to my relief they never came, my brain raced through the electro-magnetic spectrum as imagined gamma rays- silent killers, penetrating my body, but after consulting with my inner voice I settled for the more likely explanation of a high end x-ray. All I had to endure was the snickering of the officer, I hope he was laughing at my feeble attempt to smile.

     Half a minute later my dad stumbled through the check point sweaty and red eyed from laughing himself hoarse. Seeing my glaring facial expression he broke into a fresh fit of laughter, twitching like a cardiac arrest patient he stumbles into a nearby chair. A concerned officer runs over to my dad and asks what the problem is, my dad is unable to answer and the officer tries what seems to be half the living languages and a couple dead ones before I assure him that my dad is fine, thoroughly confused he walked away, silently shaking his head.

     Still recovering from his happy seizure my dad suddenly realizes that he has lost his wallet. Now it's my turn to laugh, as I finger my dads wallet in my pocket and slowly feed clues to him as to where  it might be. After half an hour my dad is caught dry on one of my clues, feeling "truly" sorry I decide to give his wallet back. Growling my dad snatches his wallet out of my hands and charges of to go buy fish 'n chips for us. After fifteen minutes of waiting my dad arrives with soggy fish 'n chips, watery clam chowder and half arsed fries. Seeing that this is probably the last meal I will have in 9 hours I force the food down my throat, wishing I had a plunger.

     I now feel throughly purged of all bad experiences, they will now transfer to you- the reader. I hope you enjoy my displeasure, for now sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite.
Boris
7/4/2011

man that so good
Anyway have fun see ya
I hope sometimes!!!

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bobby long
7/4/2011

very interesting, make sure to bring me back something.

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Kristina
7/4/2011

Wow! That honestly made me laugh out loud. I can totally see your facial expression in my mind's eye when I imagine you in that scanner (I'm guessing it was relatively close to the face you had when you were balancing on the newspaper with Anastasia). Apart from the odd spelling and/or grammar errors, your style of writing is very captivating, so I'm impressed. :) Except your probably shouldn't mention the FBI, because airport security doesn't take jokes lightly... Hopefully they won't see this blog. Unless I show it to them.... hmm.... Oh, and how come your mom and sister aren't coming with you?

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Jack The Ripper
7/4/2011

Enclosed with this reply you will find half a liver. I ate the other half - mmm it was very good.

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Sergio
7/4/2011

Nice blog! I really enjoyed reading about your "fun times" at the airport, and I'm pretty impressed that you had actually hid your dad's wallet from him and gotten away with it. With any luck your bravery and nimbleness will serve you well in your future adventures as well. XD

Anyways, I hope you have fun in Guatemala despite the astounding lack of Serge currently facing the country. On a separate note, what's with the post above this one? Kind of creepy, if you ask me.

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Worshipper in Louisiana
7/4/2011

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!! CTHULU!! BLARGHARGH HAR HAR! In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming! BLARGH HAR HAR! TEEHEE ROFLCOPTERS!

....angles.

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Kristina
7/4/2011

^Wow, creepy strangers sure love posting on your blog.

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Volga
7/4/2011

Thank you for giving us a heads-up about a full body scan. Now we know what to expect on our way to Russia from the same airport.

On the other hand, if you were not joking about the federal agency in the first place, you might have been able to avoid this harrowing experience :)

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Kristina
7/5/2011

.........Okay, my family has now decided they will film my reactions to your blogs, because honestly, you should see me! I laughed so hard I cried. All I can think of is "That is SO Daniel!" This is great stuff, except the next time I see you you will probably think I've suffered some form of brain damage while in Russia because I will be laughing so hard and won't be able to look at you normally ever again. :) Btw, publish a book. kthxbi

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1/27/2012

nice post

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1/28/2012

will come back quickly

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3/23/2012

will return quickly

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